Cyberbullying → Netiquette

It was November 8, 2016⁠—my home was quiet, and the fireplace warmed the room. It was peaceful and calm. Throughout the night I would get text messages asking for my thoughts on the news commentary happening on television. My wife opted for bed, and I decided to see what was happening on Facebook.
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The scene was chaotic.
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On this night real estate mogul and reality television star, Donald Trump, was elected President of the United States. I got lost in an infinite scroll of political turmoil.
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And still, I recognize that with all the advancements, notifications, and ‘likes,’ we’ve yet to find perfect wholeness in the World Wide web. We must remember that the internet is not an end-all, it’s a medium. It’s a tool, not an identity.
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Between the quiet of my home and the “screaming” in my newsfeed, I thought of my children, Ella and Owen, sound asleep in their bedrooms. A four-year-old and two-year-old oblivious to “breaking news” and worldwide drama.
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Like all children, their innocence is sacred. It’s a purity that I often try to hack my way back to understand.  
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They have no recognition of what had happened in the world that night.  
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They don’t know the turmoil of the countless debates, personal insults, and months of online banter about which side was wrong or right. As much as I wish I could freeze time there’s nothing that’s going to stop my children from growing up.

Reflecting on the society my children will be raised in sparked a series of questions:  

How can we uphold respect and dignity in our cultural moment?

How can personal virtue make our world better when virtue isn’t practiced in our most esteemed public office?

Are politeness, courteousness, and good manners still part of our social fabric?

What happens when people stop caring about how they treat people?

In an age in which pedestrians are obstacles between the office and us and road rage is a legitimate reaction to bad traffic, our general lack of respect for one another is exposed.

There is no greater forum for disrespect than the internet.

And this has to change. All it takes is a quick look at the comments of your favorite celebrity on Instagram. You’ll quickly realize the internet is savage. Strangers are mean. The internet turns passive aggression into plain ole’ aggression.  As co-founder of a creative agency, I live and breathe ideas, brands, and strategies that use the internet to engage and move users toward objectives. We help our customers leverage these interactions to gain exposure, sell products, and make a difference within the areas they provide value. I believe the internet is a canvas, an expression of what our world values. We’ve missed something when the internet is diminished to sidebar ads, fifteen-second commercials, and the ‘like’ button. Even though our digital age cultivates a variety of commerce, demand, and experiences—it should always be used responsibly by the humans who empower it.

It was in the quiet of my home on election night that I realized there is no code for how to treat one another on the internet. There are no shared measures for meaningful debate online. There is no standard.

I will teach my kids how to treat others face-to-face. But will those manners translate screen-to-screen?

Every day reports of cyberbullying and online abuse invade the news headlines. I’ll never forget the pit in my stomach when I watched Monica Lewinsky’s TED talk on cyber-bullying. “I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously…public shaming as a blood sport has to stop,” states Lewinsky. A survey by The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research finds that 74 percent of Americans “think manners and behavior have deteriorated in the United States over the past several decades.”  

In 1787, famed politician and abolitionist William Wilberforce instigated the Second Reformation of Manners. King George III issued a Royal Proclamation urging people of honor and authority to set good examples, purposed to “discount and punish all manner of vice, profaneness, and immorality, in all persons, of whatsoever degree or quality within this realm.”  

I am certainly no William Wilberforce nor do I have the authority to issue a Royal Proclamation, but as a husband and father to two children who will be raised in an evolved digital age, I believe we need a reformation of manners.  

A digital reformation of manners.

Amid an online culture of humiliation, disagreement, and endless opinion — there has to be a better way. Could a resurgence of manners be what our society needs?

Eric Brown

CO-FOUNDER, WhITEBOARD